Reflection
by KittyMeowMaxwell
Summary: Duo's not feeling so cheerful and secure as he makes out to be. This is my first songfic, so be nice. ^^ Shonen-ai. Implied lemon. R&R pwease? *puppy-dog eyes*


Warnings: Shonen-ai, implied lemon, mild lime, fluff though I tried not to... really I did! Honest!  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own GW and I don't own the lyrics to "Reflection" from Disney's "Mulan."  
  
Pairings: 1x2  
  
Author's note: I was listening to this on the "Michael Crawford Sings Disney" album with my sister the other night (that's why the lyrics are slightly different from the ones in the movie, because this one comes from the CD) and I remembered how I'd once read a fanfic where Duo wasn't a soppy touchy-feely kinda guy, but was using his cheerful, happy, up-and-at-'em act as a way to hide his true feelings. I thought this song fit well with that opinion and thought I'd have a go at this songfic stuff. I don't know how well I did... R&R and tell me!! Pwease...? *puppy-dog eyes*  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
//Look at me,  
You may think you see  
Who I really am,  
But you'll never know me.//  
  
  
Duo grinned cheerily at yet another cancelled date and shook his head at Heero.  
  
"Nah. It's okay. I understand. You go," he said, still smiling, though inside insecure thoughts and sad feelings crawled through him.  
  
Heero blinked and nodded, then leant forward to kiss his lover lightly before walking out the door.  
  
  
//Every day  
It's as if I play  
A part.//  
  
  
Duo stared at the closed door a moment before sighing and padding back to his room. He flopped down in the chair before the mirror and examined the mournful look on his face. He slid his usual happy face into place.  
  
"Oh yeah... you're really good at this acting crap... Could almost fool yourself..." he muttered at the grinning Duo in the mirror.  
  
  
//Now I see  
If I wear a mask  
I can fool you all,  
But I cannot fool my heart.//  
  
  
He shook his head and the grin faded in a hurry as a tear slid down one cheek.  
  
"Who am I kidding? I HATE this! Every time he cancels on me. Every time he doesn't come home when he should, I get so scared... Sure, I can hide it from him and the others, but..."  
  
He let his hair out of its confining braid and began to brush it just for something, anything, to do.  
  
  
//Who is that boy I see,  
Staring straight back at me?  
When will my reflection show  
Who I am inside?//  
  
  
He finished with his hair and bound it neatly back up again, giving a strained, wry smile at the complete waste of time the whole operation had been. He sighed and slipped back into cheerful-Duo mode, checking his happy mask once more in the mirror before standing and prancing out of his room to find something to do to take his mind off Heero.  
  
  
//I am now  
In a world where I  
Have to hide my heart  
And what I believe in//  
  
  
"Uh... hey, Duo?" Quatre's voice behind Duo as he searched the fridge made him jump.  
  
"Hey, Q-man! Don't scare me like that!" he said with a grin as he turned to the blonde.  
  
"Oh, sorry..." Quatre went slightly red.  
  
"Nah, it's okay. You wanted something?"  
  
"Well I... I just... I thought you and Heero were doing something special today... I mean, it HAS been six months since the two of you-"  
  
Duo cut him off with a nonchalant wave of his hand.  
  
"He had to go out. I doesn't matter," Duo said with a wide grin, though he felt like he was falling apart.  
  
He'd remembered it was six months since he and Heero began their relationship, but Heero hadn't said anything about it and it hurt Duo deeply. Even when the WingZero pilot had left, he hadn't mentioned it and Duo felt as though Heero had ripped his heart out and taken it with him as he left. He hid this from Heero and now Quatre, and he hid it convincingly and with ease.  
  
  
//But somehow  
I will show the world  
What's inside my heart  
And be loved for who I am.//  
  
  
"But six months... It's pretty important..." Quatre said, doubtfully eying Duo's grinning countenance.  
  
For a moment, Duo was tempted to throw himself into the little Arabian's arms and cry his eyes out, showing just HOW important it was... but he shook his head, still beaming indifferently.  
  
"It's okay, I understand. He has to do these things," Duo said, turning back to the fridge and catching sight of himself reflected in a window on the way.  
  
  
//Who is that boy I see,  
Staring straight back at me?  
Why is my reflection someone  
I don't know?//  
  
  
Though the other him was distorted in the opaque glass, he could still see the wide grin and the cheerful eyes. It seemed as though he was looking THROUGH the window and seeing someone else who looked like him, because he felt so sad and intensely afraid, that it didn't seem he could be that grinning, bouncy, braided American he could see in the window.  
  
  
//Must I pretend that I'm  
Someone else for all time?  
When will my reflection show  
Who I am inside?//  
  
  
"But Duo, are you sure? I know you had something big planned..." Quatre said, laying a hand on his shoulder.  
  
Duo shut the fridge after pulling out a bottle of orange soda, having given up on eating. He offered Quatre one, but the blonde shook his head.  
  
"No, really Quatre. I understand that Heero had to do other things," he said, ignoring the voice inside him that whispered to him that Heero might not have WANTED to spend the day with him. That the WingZero pilot may be with someone else. That-  
  
"Well if you say so..." Quatre's doubtful voice cut through the insidious whispers of the inner voice. The blonde sensed Duo would rather be alone and left him in the kitchen.  
  
  
//There's a heart that must be free to fly,  
That burns with the need to know the reason why.//  
  
  
It was late that night when Heero returned home, but Duo was still awake, lying wide-eyed in his dark room. The door opened slightly and that beloved silhouette appeared in the pale light shining through.  
  
"Duo...? Are you awake...? Heero asked softly.  
  
"Yah," Duo replied, showing a flash of white teeth in a wide grin.  
  
Heero shut the door softly and rid himself of his clothes before crawling exhaustedly into bed beside his lover. He hugged the braided boy close and kissed him softly.  
  
"Duo, I'm sorry. I completely forgot what today was. I should have stayed with you," he said softly.  
  
"No, it's alright. I understand..." Duo said, burying his face in Heero's chest.  
  
"Are you sure?" Heero asked, working at freeing Duo's hair.  
  
  
//I won't pretend that I'm  
Someone else for all time.//  
  
  
"Heero..." Duo lifted his head to look into the cobalt blue eyes and suddenly tears welled up in his own eyes as he shook his head and put away the mask. "No, Heero. I don't understand. It's not all right. I get so scared that maybe you're with someone else or you just don't want to be with me..."  
  
Heero blinked. He was used to Duo being a happy, bouncy braided baka. This wasn't Duo... or maybe it was. He'd always felt maybe wasn't completely honest with him about his feelings and all the canceled dates.  
  
"I love you... Why didn't you SAY something? Heero asked, finally managing to get Duo's silky hair washing freely about the two of them.  
  
  
//When will my reflection show  
Who I am inside?//  
  
  
Duo spoke through choking tears, unable to stop them though he tried his best to do so.  
  
"I never do. I don't like people to know when I'm falling apart inside."  
  
Heero stroked his hair, letting him cry as he spoke.  
  
"So why are you telling me now?" he asked, his other hand wandering freely over Duo's body and taking the DeathScythe pilot's mind off most everything else. His voice was still somewhat tearful, but there weren't any actual tears anymore.  
  
"I couldn't hide anymore. I had to tell you," he said, then gave a slight gasp as Heero's hand brushed a particularly sensitive point on his body.  
  
"Hn... Well keep telling me," Heero said.  
  
Duo nodded with a tentative smile before Heero kissed him deeply and passionately, then spent the rest of the night showing Duo just how much he loved him.  
  
  
//When will my reflection show  
Who I am inside....?//  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
Author's note: So what'd ya think?! Did I do good? ^_^'  



End file.
